Let's Talk About Text Baby

Technology today has afforded us many privileges we never dreamed possible.  We used to have to plan things down to the exact date, time, and location, because no one had cell phones to call and say we were running late or GPS to prevent us from getting lost.  We had pay phones and bad hair.  Now we have cell phones and, well, my hair is still bad but yours probably isn't.

Now, I can comment on your Facebook status while texting someone else about meeting up in ten minutes at a location four miles west from where we previously decided and then Twitter about how I don't know how we survived before smart phones (or cell phones in general).  

But, with all this fabulous technology comes the risks associated.  One of the things I cannot stand about texting is how you don't REALLY know who is texting you back.  You might think you're texting the guy you're dating but then you find out the next day he was passed out and his roommate was just fucking with you.  I mean, I don't think that's actually happened to me but I've heard stories. 

 

And it's also really hard to detect sarcasm over text.  Take the following conversation for example:

 

me: the golden girls are more important than the hawks game (not sarcasm, but you wouldn't know that without knowing me)

response:  wow umm no stop it now (obviously sarcasm, because everyone knows the above statement is correct).

So you see, sometimes it is hard to decipher the tone of text messages, even if you know the person really, really well.

Another thing that bothers me:

The attempted flirt.  For example, Katie told me the following earlier today:

"He like WONT ask me out.  He goes 'miss me?'  And I said 'sure' and he said 'well?' and I said 'well what?'  And he said 'what are you going to do about it?'  I said 'No, what are YOU going to do about it?"

This dude was obviously flirting with her but wanted her to do all the heavy lifting.  And she has it right.  HE should do something about it and take her on a date.  Seriously.  Enough with the coy texting.  Pick up the phone, call me, and ASK ME OUT ON A DATE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

And finally, the thing that bothers me the most is when dudes ask us to send them pictures of our lady business.  The answer is always NO.  Don't you people read Gawker?  Stuff like this gets leaked all the time.  I don't care if you swear on your dead cat's grave, it's not happening.  And further more, don't ask repeatedly as the answer is unlikely to change.  I know it's great we can send pictures via text and all, but some things were just not meant to be seen.  So stop asking.