Claustrophobia is no bueno

A little weird thing about me - I'm afraid of elevators - to the point where I'd rather climb 96 flights of stairs than take an elevator ride 96 floors alone.  Alone really is the issue, here.  If there are other people in there with me, it calms me down, because if it got stuck, I know I wouldn't be alone.  I know you're probably thinking, "suck it up, wimp," and believe me, it's the same thing I tell myself any time I'm forced onto an elevator alone.  (Side note: my pet peeve is when buildings don't allow access to their stairwell on the ground/lobby floors.  You can ALWAYS access them down, due to building requirements, like, if it caught on fire, but that's not always the case if you're going up.  So irritating)

I got stuck in one once...in 1994...in Paris...with my family.  So yes, I understand how ridiculous this sounds, that I'm still apprehensive about riding in them alone, but we all have our weird quirks, right?

This anxiety has been around since...well, 1994.  But recently it's gotten worse.  Now I feel claustrophobic on the CTA trains as well, and I have to ride them every day.

After four years in the city without any incidents, there was one morning this May when the absolute PACKED rush hour train I was in had to stop for 5-10 minutes.  So, not even that long (and really, most would not think of this as an "incident" but it was my personal turning point for the worse).  But there was hardly room to move (or breathe) as it was, and being stopped, and not knowing why we were stopped, caused me to start to panic.  I was able to keep it all inward, but was seriously freaking out.  Felt like I was suffocating and helpless  - prime example of having no control over the situation, which I think is one of the main things that contributes to claustrophobia. I tried to close my eyes and listen to music

Recently, in an attempt to find out why my fear of elevators is so bad and if there was anything I could do, I googled "fear of elevators" which brought me to a video feature on 20/20 that included an interview with a man who was trapped on one for 41 hours in October of 1999.  It literally ruined his life - he finally got out and never went back to the job he was working at when it happened, instead suing the building management company and going to Anguilla for eight weeks.  He was fired, broke, didn't get much of a settlement, and had the trauma of being trapped that long.  Other than the eight weeks in the Caribbean, all of that sounds awful.

So, I am going to see a psychiatrist next weekend, unfortunately her office is on the 33rd floor and I'm dragging my friend with me so she can ride up the elevator with me.  Seriously.

What's your biggest fear or oddest phobia?  How have you conquered it?

Wisconsin Dells Half Marathon

Well, I can officially say I completed one of my goals of 2011:  completing two half marathons.  On Sunday, I completed the Wisconsin Dells Half Marathon in 2:14:58.  This was a little over five minutes faster than my first one.  Truly not sure how that's possible considering how many hills the course had AND I'd been Slacky McSlackerson in my training (only running 2-3x/week as opposed to 4-5x).

But, I am not going to complain about a PR, that's for sure.  I did completely fall apart in between miles 9 & 10.  When I made the turn at the half, I saw that the 2:10 pacer guy was 5-10 minutes behind me and I was feeling great, thinking I could finish in closer to two hours flat.  My goal at that point became, "don't let the 2:10 pacer pass you."

Side note: there were NO timing clocks whatsoever on the course - not even when we started.  The only clock was at the finish line, so until I saw the 2:10 pacer, I didn't have a CLUE as to how I was pacing.

Of course, during one of my walk breaks, the 2:10 dude ran up beside me and it was all downhill (or rather, uphill for the last two miles) from there.  He caught me around mile 9 when I was starting to lose steam and try as I did to keep up with him, I was hurting too much at that point.

I'm still insanely sore and expect to be for a few more days. 

This is definitely a race I'd recommend - it was a beautiful, country course and challenging with the hills.  The spectators were great, they had tons of water stations, and I really enjoyed the winding roads.

Goal for 2012 (which I am already regretting): Run the Chicago Marathon.  My body is already weeping.