One of the inevitable things about dating is sideline interference, if you will. You recruit a friend to help you land the object of your affection and it backfires in some way (on you or them or both of you).
You know where I'm going with this - your friend calls you and says, "hey, come out with my flag football team because there is a dude I like on it and I need a wing woman." So you are a wonderful wing woman but then the dude turns into a total psycho. Well then there's the opposite of that - like for example you go to a wedding with a guy you like but your single friend insists the three of you stay in the same hotel room. Or the dude you're madly in love with asks you to dance at a concert and your three BFF's see this and do not approve so whisk you away to do shots. So pretty much, having the best wing woman ever can still backfire on you, having the opposite of that can backfire on you.
So without further adieu - I give you the five types of anti-wing woman's I've encountered (with help from KPK):
1) The Well Meaning Friend - with your best interests at heart, they actually sabotage you in a variety of ways that will benefit you in the long run because they know the object of your affection is bad news and the sooner you know this the better. The well meaning friends are like mine, who whisked me away from COB that night, which I was mad about at first but am grateful for now.
2) The Really Annoying Bossy Friend - you have a love/hate relationship with her, but when you want to get your mac on make sure she's not around because she'll make sure that she's NOT left out of the group and that you certainly do not get what you came for. She'll get clingy and not let you out of your sight and can be quite the Debbie Downer ("you're not ACTUALLY going to ditch me are you???")
3) Yourself - You are the wing woman and as much as you love PDA, you love it when it's directed at YOU, not when you're watching the PDA attacker and secretly want to vomit all over yourself and the bar. It's awkward for sure, but if you've truly done your job, you can Irish goodbye as you see fit and no one will be the wiser.
4) The Ex-Girlfriend - You befriend her for purely selfish reasons: to get the dirt on your dude. She comes out with you and then spends the whole night talking to him and then you turn into HER wing-woman, trying to figure out how to pass her off on someone else.
5) The Dude - You drag one of your guy friends along thinking, what better way to impress a guy than have him think other guys want to hang out with you? This will likely backfire as the dude you like will think the dude you're with likes YOU and then no one wins. He won't want to interfere with what he thinks is a budding romance, the guy you brought will likely be checking out other girls, and you'll end up leaving early to go home and watch reruns of the Golden Girls.
In theory, the wing-man/wing-woman concept is a good one if the stars are aligned, people do their job correctly, no one falls for the wrong person, etc etc etc. But I think it's easier to just go with the flow. After all, when has mapping out a relationship ever worked??
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