Just as I suspected...

This week is going to be nuts - Steph is moving out (sad) so I'm moving my stuff into her room as it is the biggest with the biggest closet and doing this in between a softball game on Wednesday and packing for Atlanta.  This will be my third 4th of July in a row in Hotlanta and this year I decided to brave running the Peachtree rather than just watching it.  Although, I haven't gone running in over a month AND it's going to be about 195-degrees down there so it might turn into a slow crawl, but that's fine.

Also, how is it already July?  This year has flown by so far.  In the beginning of the year I had the cruise to look forward to, then Vegas, Princeton, Memorial Day weekend, now Atlanta.  I blinked and the year was half over.

Now I've been sitting here all night trying to come up with a meaningful blog post.  Task NOT accomplished.  However, I have something in the works that might be far more entertaining.

The Date

A while back, maybe in March or April, I joined an online dating site, one of the free ones, figuring that if I was going to get rejected, at least I wouldn't be paying to get rejected.  And actually I was active for about a week before realizing I didn't care enough to put in that much effort.  Well, a week or so ago, I got an email from a guy who seemed perfectly normal, so after trading emails for a bit, he asked me out to dinner and I accepted.  

He was not someone I would have approached - his profile said he was a lot shorter than I normally go for and he doesn't drink but it's not like I'm turning down dates on a regular basis and have a reason to be that snobby so I figured, what the hell, it's only dinner.

He sent me links to a few restaurants he'd scoped out on Yelp (yay diligence) and had me pick one.  I picked an Italian place by my apartment that I hadn't tried yet and was actually looking forward to the date...until he emailed me the day before:

Hey Reva, just wanted to check in to see how you're doing.  I took a look at the menu for Tarantino's, and it is a little on the pricey side. 

This isn't a problem for me, but I just wanted to make sure you're comfortable with those prices.  Just say the word if you'd like to change up the locale. :)

Now, I don't about you, but that email to me said he wanted me to know we were going Dutch, which I don't have a problem with - if I offer and you take me up on then fine - I'm okay with that.  It's the whole email ahead of time thing I have issues with.  I mean...really?  Maybe he didn't want me to be shocked when he expected me to pay for my half but...

It's hard to go into a date with an open mind after that kind of email - and I figured I was screwed either way.  If I say the prices are okay with me and he was planning on paying then I look like a bitch, if I say no then I look like a bitch too (right?  I'm not even sure.  This is why I hate dating!!!).  So I picked a cheaper restaurant to err on the side of caution, and we split a $29 check.  He asked me if I wanted to walk around after but I said no and bolted home.  Why prolong the inevitable?  And if you're wondering, no I haven't heard from him.

The general consensus has been that the person who does the asking should pay for the date.  I am not sure I've asked a guy on a date who has actually said yes, but if that ever happened I'd be happy to pay.  And I'm not trying to sound superficial either - I am not faulting someone if he doesn't want to buy me dinner at Charlie Trotter's - but I sensed a lack of chivalry there which I think every girl wants, at least for the first few dates.

Also he's 30 and lives with his parents (I think by choice).  So there's that.

Tornados, Etc

Yesterday there was a tornado warning for downtown Chicago (I think).  After work I took the red line over to US Cellular to meet Sarah and Cassie for the White Sox game.  Only when I got there did I realize 1) Sarah was still at work, 2) the sky was a color I'd never seen before 3) maybe this was a bad idea.

So I wound up back on the red line and in the basement of Macy's at some sports bar where we could kill two birds with one stone: be underground should a tornado actually hit and keep an eye on the weather and game status via the news.  Well other than getting soaked from the massive sheets of rain coming from every direction, we experienced no other extreme weather.  The game started (2hrs late) and when we were on our way back to the ballpark, some random woman on the subway told Sarah she was would have hit her in the face if she weren't so friendly looking.  Sarah had accidentally bumped her with her purse and then apologized.  I assumed this woman was drunk or high or something because she then immediately tried to be our BFF.  She even gave us her card and told her she would upgrade our manicures since we were broke college students.


Once back at the Cell, it was still raining so we went to the Stadium Club where I asked the security guard the best way to meet Mark Buerhle.  He then reminded me that Mark Buerhle is married and Cassie then said, "I feel like he's married to someone who could probably kick your ass."  Probably true seeing as I bet she has to deal with tons of groupies.

In any case, we actually got to see a game, though we did leave at 11pm at the top of the 8th inning as it was a school night and all. 


So there you have it - not even a tornado is enough to deter the White Sox from canceling a game.  Keep that in mind!

The Anti-Wing Man (or Woman)

One of the inevitable things about dating is sideline interference, if you will.  You recruit a friend to help you land the object of your affection and it backfires in some way (on you or them or both of you).

You know where I'm going with this - your friend calls you and says, "hey, come out with my flag football team because there is a dude I like on it and I need a wing woman."  So you are a wonderful wing woman but then the dude turns into a total psycho.  Well then there's the opposite of that - like for example you go to a wedding with a guy you like but your single friend insists the three of you stay in the same hotel room.  Or the dude you're madly in love with asks you to dance at a concert and your three BFF's see this and do not approve so whisk you away to do shots.   So pretty much, having the best wing woman ever can still backfire on you, having the opposite of that can backfire on you.

So without further adieu - I give you the five types of anti-wing woman's I've encountered (with help from KPK):

1) The Well Meaning Friend - with your best interests at heart, they actually sabotage you in a variety of ways that will benefit you in the long run because they know the object of your affection is bad news and the sooner you know this the better. The well meaning friends are like mine, who whisked me away from COB that night, which I was mad about at first but am grateful for now.

2) The Really Annoying Bossy Friend - you have a love/hate relationship with her, but when you want to get your mac on make sure she's not around because she'll make sure that she's NOT left out of the group and that you certainly do not get what you came for.  She'll get clingy and not let you out of your sight and can be quite the Debbie Downer ("you're not ACTUALLY going to ditch me are you???")

3) Yourself - You are the wing woman and as much as you love PDA, you love it when it's directed at YOU, not when you're watching the PDA attacker and secretly want to vomit all over yourself and the bar.  It's awkward for sure, but if you've truly done your job, you can Irish goodbye as you see fit and no one will be the wiser.

4) The Ex-Girlfriend - You befriend her for purely selfish reasons: to get the dirt on your dude.  She comes out with you and then spends the whole night talking to him and then you turn into HER wing-woman, trying to figure out how to pass her off on someone else.

5) The Dude - You drag one of your guy friends along thinking, what better way to impress a guy than have him think other guys want to hang out with you?  This will likely backfire as the dude you like will think the dude you're with likes YOU and then no one wins.  He won't want to interfere with what he thinks is a budding romance, the guy you brought will likely be checking out other girls, and you'll end up leaving early to go home and watch reruns of the Golden Girls.

In theory, the wing-man/wing-woman concept is a good one if the stars are aligned, people do their job correctly, no one falls for the wrong person, etc etc etc.  But I think it's easier to just go with the flow. After all, when has mapping out a relationship ever worked??

In which I fail (again)

I was working on a different post for today that I might postpone a couple days so I can put more thought into it - but now I'm left without a topic (again). 

So, true to form, I decided to pull something out of my ass.  Then, still coming up short (I was going to go on a rant about cryptic Facebook status updates but will save that for another day), I googled "blog topics" and the auto-fill came up with "blog topic generator" so here are some of the ideas it gave me:

-Reasons to not move in with someone:  Well, I'm no expert on this one.  I assume the topic is moving in with your significant other, not a friend who would be your roommate.  I can't argue for OR against this one.  I think every couple is different, with a different comfort level.  My personal thought is you should live with someone before you marry them because what if you can't stand living with them but you're now stuck?  But again, I am not a relationship expert.  In fact, I'd argue I know the least amount  out of everyone on the planet about them.  So basically do the opposite of what I tell you. 

-Old Nickelodeon T.V. shows - Um...score!  I once did an unofficial poll on my Fbook: Hey Dude vs. Salute Your Shorts.  Salute won hands down, even though I always did prefer Hey Dude.  I'm not sure why, I think it was the dude who played Ted.  The actor who played him was David Lascher, and he's stared in such gems as three episodes of the original 90210 (probably someone with brain damage who dated Donna because yes, that's what it takes), 48 (!!) episodes of Blossom, and Sabrina the Teenage Witch.  Score one for David.  Anyway - I liked Hey Dude better because it had less of a New England summer camp feel, since I grew up in NE and the whole point of TV is to escape the real world, am I right? 

-Procrastination Methods - Okay, I am the expert here.  Instead of thinking of a blog topic earlier, I watched season two of Sex & the City.  I mean, there are endless ways to procrastinate.  When I was in school and didn't want to do homework, I would do asinine things like try to organize pictures, read my old notes from 7th/8th grade (LD + __ forever, do NOT fill in the blanks, he said hi to me in the hall and I totally think he'll ask me to the dance), play Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego until I had it memorized, or call boys and hang up.  What?  You did it too!  Ahh the HOURS we wasted on the phone in middle school/high school with our friends, dissecting someone's smile or head tilt, propagating endless rumors and trying to predict the future.   Life was so simple back then.

I can't believe I just wrote that.  I MUST be old!

In Which I Fail Miserably

So my goal was to post every day for the next year and less than a month in I fail - in my defense I was busy (?) because Thursday night between meeting the new roomie and then belting out "On the Wings of Love" at Tuck's with Katie and then packing for Cincinnati I didn't have time - nor did I have time when I was in O-H-I-O (three syllables, not one).

I went to Cincy to visit my friend Liz, who I hadn't seen in about five years.  We interned at 'Nova together and since she was an athletic trainer there we got to hang out on all the fun softball road trips (like when we had to go to South Bend for five days even though the team didn't advance past the first round of the tournament so we had nothing to do).  Anyway.

Cincy consisted of Tim McGraw, pool time, meeting lots of cool people and visiting UC's campus.  I'd elaborate further if I wasn't so flippin' tired.  So yes, I failed a month in to this little project - fear not loyal reader (there IS one of you, right?) I will get back on track tomorrow.

Summer

We finally played our first softball game tonight and not only did we win but I had two hits AND a run - that is definitely a first for me.  Normally I strike out looking.  Our team is pretty cool, everyone is nice, we played well but no one is super competitive so I won't have to feel bad for striking out - which I will.  A lot.  But, it's a school night, and writing every day is harder than I thought it would be. 

But, before I go, I would like to express my disgust at Perez Hilton for tweeting a picture of (as Gawker calls it) Miley Cyrus' "Hannah Montana."  First of all, Perez thinks he is better than everyone else and has BECOME the person he originally started blogging about: a Hollywood Diva.  I really hope he faces jail time.  He's already losing advertisers, which is good, but it would be unfortunate if he didn't have to suffer the consequences of his actions just because of who he is.  I don't even read his blog because I dislike him so much.  It's all about DListed baby.

Cruising down memory lane

The other day I was on Facebook looking at photos from the cruise my BFF Lisa and I went on at the end of February.  It was my first cruise and I honestly had no idea what to expect, but I can say for sure that Carnival helped exceed my expectations and it was one of the best vacations I've ever been on (tied obviously with my last two trips to Vegas).

First of all, the trip was pretty much going to be awesome regardless because it was February in Chicago /NH and we were going to the Caribbean.  So weather alone would have made the trip worthwhile, however we were lucky enough to have a great experience on top of weather.

Between the awesome weather, parasailing in St. Thomas, comedy shows, the R-rated sing along at the piano bar and the cast of characters we met along the way, I can safely say the week was highly successful.  First of all - parasailing.  You're literally floating above the ocean - what's not to love??  And you're attached to a parachute so a fear of heights should not deter you from trying this.  I really wanted to go zip lining thru the rain forest in Puerto Rico but it was like $200 - way out of my price range.

The nice thing about Carnival is they let you bring wine on board (cuts down how much you'll spend on alcohol), as well as bottled water, which trust me you'll need, but since they don't actually check the contents, you can fill a couple bottles with "water" if you get my drift.

There are also tons of activities going on daily where you can socialize with others, such as sports trivia (p.s. people introduce me as someone who knows a lot about sports, which has never actually held up in sports trivia, so I feel like a fraud - why can't they ever ask about the 1985 Final Four?  Seriously.), which brings me to the cast of characters:

Kyle:  One of the staff members, I think in charge of all activities, we LOVED Kyle and every time we saw him we were like, "WOO KYLE HIGH FIVE!!" And he was like who ARE you?

Butch: Our cruise director from Minnesota, had a heavy accent, was definitely awesome and made our trip great, though I'm pretty sure that soaking wet he weighed 90lbs...and was over six feet tall.

Stage 5 Clinger:  We met him at sports trivia on Sunday and he seemed cool enough, then at karaoke that night encouraged me (and by encouraged I mean wouldn't stop rubbing my back while the karaoke DJ was begging someone to audition so I jumped up and ran on stage to get him to stop touching me) to try out for the Carnival Legends show so I wound up performing as Britney Spears in front of the entire ship on the final night.  On Monday he apparently spent a good portion of the day looking for us on the Lido deck (it was our day at sea) and by Monday night I was pretty much done with him - but he has no one to blame but himself.  I told him I hated clingy guys and he turned into one.

Latvia: Not his real name, but one of the bar waiters was from Latvia and was the most beautiful man on the planet, essentially.  It got to the point where I'd only order drinks from him so by the end of the week he would just come by to wherever we were and talk to us.  I made him take a picture with me on the last night so that I would have PROOF.

Behold:

Also - can we discuss my tan?  I mean...wow.  It's June and I'm not even that tan right now.

Myra & Archie:  Fantastic couple (from Chicago!) that we met early on and had dinner with a few times.  They were seriously so much fun and it has been nice to stay in touch with them.  Since there were lots of families and older couples on the cruise it was nice to meet and hang out with people our age.  I would post a group picture that we took but it was right after the Legends show and I'm still in my Britney Spears wig so no.

BradRob:  BR was in our parasailing group and was fantastic (hilarious, cute, funny, etc) but for SOME reason I kept calling him Brad.  Lisa had to remind me numerous times that his name was Rob so I merged the two names and thus we have BradRob.  He was traveling with a larger group and we hung out with them a few nights in the casino and piano bar.

Vitali:  Our karaoke DJ from somewhere in Eastern Europe, would shout-out "VACATION!" during all musical breaks.

I think that pretty much sums up the main cast.  I would definitely go on another cruise - the only thing I'd change is that I would go on more shore excursions - in St. Thomas they basically dropped us off in a parking lot for people who wanted to shop and in San Juan they dropped us at a warehouse across the street from Sr. Frogs.  So if you don't have an excursion planned and don't want to shop or binge drink and there isn't a beach within walking distance, you're basically screwed.  Our first and last stops dropped us right at the beach, so that was nice, but the two in between definitely required excursions.

Seeing those pictures again just made me want to go back - so, who's with me???

Beverly Hills 90210 Drinking Game

1) Drink every time they are at the Peach Pit or the After Dark
2) Drink every time they drink coffee and they should be drinking beer
3) Drink every time Val whores herself out
4) Drink every time they switch romantic partners in one episode
5) Drink every time they wear a blazer for an everyday activity
6) Chug a beer when they are drinking a beer because it never happens
7) Drink every time Nat shows up when he shouldn't be there
8) Drink every time they mention high school, Andrea Zuckerman or the good old days (only applies seasons 4-10)
9) Drink every time Brandon pulls a self-righteous attitude
10) Drink every time they mention dating someone after an hour of meeting each other
11) Drink every time they mention Donna's virginity
12) Drink every time they wear a midriff
13) Drink every time there is a fight and makeup in the same episode
14) Drink every time you can predict the next line, trust me, it's not hard
15) Drink every time Kelly & Val have an argument
16) Drink every time Val gets a random check for no reason
17) Drink every time Donna agrees w/Kelly (source)
18) Drink every time Donna storms off
19) Drink every time the Peach Pit caters an event or rave
20) Drink every time you want to vomit because the show is gratifyingly cheesy

Twitter

I have a love/hate relationship with Twitter.  On the one hand, it's super addictive and not going anywhere and there are so many things you can learn from other people.  On the other hand, it reminds me of an AOL chat room.  Seriously.  It's just one giant conversation going on in front of you, and if you want to take things offline you can't even do that unless the person you're following is also following you.

But then on the third hand, it's a way you can connect with people you'd otherwise never meet - for me specifically I enjoy chatting w/sports writers and the random people I've meet "through" them, so to speak.

But on the fourth hand there are some really fucking creepy people on Twitter, just as there were in AOL chat rooms when those first exploded (hash tags are the new A/S/L, am I right?).   But on the fifth hand, creepy people exist regardless of whether or not they are on Twitter.

Gawker had an amazing article about  types of people to unfollow and I honestly feel like I fall into at least two of their categories (over-user, in-joker & my own category called the cryptic tweeter) but yet I have no intentions of changing who I am.  Follow me or don't. 

I already deleted my account once but then wound up rejoining.  Ultimately, I think I'm in this for the long haul.  There are just too many interesting people with too much insight for me not to be -- but forgive me if at times I'm frustrated with some aspects of it (like TMI tweets or things that make no sense or all the random porn spam I get because let's face it, all these things are inevitable).

Whirlwinds

The weather so far this summer has kind of sucked - lots of rain mixed with not 90-degree weather, which I prefer.  However, today's bad weather didn't stop me from dropping by John's birthday bar crawl, meeting Courtney for dinner and then Mike for drinks.  It was a whirlwind of getting from point A to B on public transit (I'm trying to spend less money on cabs). 


Right now, World Cup fever is amongst us and I have to say, I think soccer is kind of boring.  I've seen many a 2OT 0-0 tie and that is just not exciting.  Yes, I understand the concept of hot men running around a field showing off their athletic skills for two hours is exciting to some, but I'd take football or basketball over soccer any day. I would venture to guess that once the WC is over, most people won't utter the word "soccer" again for four years.

But, I guess it's SOMETHING to distract Chicago from the fact that both baseball teams are awful and the Bulls choked in the first round of the playoffs.  Yes, it is great the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup but most of the city, from what I've heard, hardly cares about hockey.

This afternoon I also met someone who went to high school with J.J Reddick, this was of course AFTER I spent a good ten minutes talking about how much I hate Duke.  Oops.  This happens to me all the time.  I'll start talking about how much I hate a team and then ten minutes later find out the person I'm talking to has strong connections to the team I just bashed.  It would be nice if they could stop me sooner instead of letting me drone on like an idiot, though I suppose that IS more fun.

Life Lessons for $43.50

Tonight I went to Blues Fest with Sarah and Courtney.  In the short time we were in Grant Park, I learned several valuable life lessons.

1- Everyone takes credit/debit cards.  It's 2010.  The only establishments these days that are cash only are drug dealers.  So therefore...

2 - I should not have to pay a $3.50 ATM fee to get cash to buy tickets when the ticket booths take debit cards.  But...

3 - This particular festival allows you to bring coolers so you could bring in your own beer for at least half the cost of what you're actually paying.

4 - And also sitting on grass in a light skirt does not end well for anyone.

5 - But it's very exciting when one of you discovers you paid for 24 tickets but got 36 so therefore everyone can get an extra beer for free.

Because it's all about the extra beer.  Clearly.

Stage 5 Clingers

Anyone who has seen Wedding Crashers remembers the part when Vince Vaughn refers to Isla Fisher as a stage five clinger. 

If you don't remember that part, here is a refresher:



But don't go giving girls the reputation of being the only stage five clingers.  My friends and I have run into our fair share of boys who fit the description and they do some of the following:

-Reference you meeting his grandmother...on the first date.
-Insist he be with you at all times, attending 100% of the same social events as you.
-Get mad at you when you get food poisoning as he considers that an unacceptable excuse for canceling a date.
-Latch on to you, literally, so that you have to literally RUN off the Lido deck of a cruise ship and into a dark corner so he can't find you because if he does you know he won't leave you alone and then when your amazing cruise director leads a Mardi Gras themed conga line into the casino it happens to be the only thing separating you and Stage 5 who is obviously looking for you so now you're ducking behind people wearing beads while a band plays "When the Saints Go Marching In."
-Assume you're dating after one date which may then include the following conclusions: ask what's going on with "us" (there IS no us), assume he can spend the night (negative, ghost rider), thinking you're then obligated to not date anyone else.

I wonder why it's always so hard to find the happy medium.  Either I'm at a bar at 3am forcing myself to drink beer when I barely was able to keep down solid foods the day before due to food poisoning just so I could spend time with someone or completely dodging calls, texts and emails so I'd never to see a dude again.  This elusive happy medium escapes me.  In fact, I believe I found it on aforementioned cruise and then totally blew it but that's fine.  You only live twice, right?

Yes, I'm a horrible person

Tonight the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup and it is the first championship for Chicago since I've lived here.  I was super happy and excited until I got home and read that USC will probably receive a two year postseason ban and have to forfeit wins from at least 2004.

Why do I hate USC so much?  Great question!  When Miami was undefeated during 2001-02, they were overrated.  When USC did it, according to the media, they were the greatest football team since ever.  And it turns out it was because they cheated.  And spare me your "everybody cheats" lecture.  If my schools cheat and aren't dumb enough to get caught, that's not my fault.  

So, my hatred for USC goes above and beyond my status as a bandwagon fan for the Blackhawks.  People yell at you for being on the bandwagon anyway, so isn't this better?

Let's Talk About Text Baby

Technology today has afforded us many privileges we never dreamed possible.  We used to have to plan things down to the exact date, time, and location, because no one had cell phones to call and say we were running late or GPS to prevent us from getting lost.  We had pay phones and bad hair.  Now we have cell phones and, well, my hair is still bad but yours probably isn't.

Now, I can comment on your Facebook status while texting someone else about meeting up in ten minutes at a location four miles west from where we previously decided and then Twitter about how I don't know how we survived before smart phones (or cell phones in general).  

But, with all this fabulous technology comes the risks associated.  One of the things I cannot stand about texting is how you don't REALLY know who is texting you back.  You might think you're texting the guy you're dating but then you find out the next day he was passed out and his roommate was just fucking with you.  I mean, I don't think that's actually happened to me but I've heard stories. 

 

And it's also really hard to detect sarcasm over text.  Take the following conversation for example:

 

me: the golden girls are more important than the hawks game (not sarcasm, but you wouldn't know that without knowing me)

response:  wow umm no stop it now (obviously sarcasm, because everyone knows the above statement is correct).

So you see, sometimes it is hard to decipher the tone of text messages, even if you know the person really, really well.

Another thing that bothers me:

The attempted flirt.  For example, Katie told me the following earlier today:

"He like WONT ask me out.  He goes 'miss me?'  And I said 'sure' and he said 'well?' and I said 'well what?'  And he said 'what are you going to do about it?'  I said 'No, what are YOU going to do about it?"

This dude was obviously flirting with her but wanted her to do all the heavy lifting.  And she has it right.  HE should do something about it and take her on a date.  Seriously.  Enough with the coy texting.  Pick up the phone, call me, and ASK ME OUT ON A DATE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

And finally, the thing that bothers me the most is when dudes ask us to send them pictures of our lady business.  The answer is always NO.  Don't you people read Gawker?  Stuff like this gets leaked all the time.  I don't care if you swear on your dead cat's grave, it's not happening.  And further more, don't ask repeatedly as the answer is unlikely to change.  I know it's great we can send pictures via text and all, but some things were just not meant to be seen.  So stop asking.

Error, Error!

Blogger was not accessible last night so I was unable to post, therefore my streak of daily posting was broken less than two weeks into this project (fail). 

Speaking of fails...

This morning, I had to drop off some dry cleaning and the place I normally use is across the street from the Armitage L stop.  I figured I could take the brown line to Quincy and just walk to work, as Quincy is where you'd get off to go to Union Station and I work about half a mile west of Union Station.  Normally I just take the bus but I was thinking, "hey, it's nice out, I could use the walk, I'll switch up my routine."  This turned out to be a mistake for the following reasons:

1) I got on the first train that came, which was a purple line express and not a brown line.  I didn't realize my error until we left Merchandise Mart and I realized the purple line was going in the opposite direction around the loop (counter clock-wise, if you will) than the brown line does, therefore increasing my time on the train by at least 15 minutes.

2) When I got off at Quincy, I didn't see the McDonald's I usually look for to indicate I should turn left and head straight towards Union Station.  So instead I walked to the first street I saw, Jackson, and thought, "HEY, I WORK on Jackson, I will just walk west until I get to my office."

3) I then started walking east.

4) And had to ask someone where Union Station was.

5) Then got back to the Quincy stop and found the aforementioned McDonald's.

6) This would be less embarrassing if I hadn't lived here for three years.

I guess this is where the saying "stick with what you know," comes from.

Cheating

It turns out you can change the date/time of a post so even though it is Monday @ 4, I have this posted for Sun @ 4.  Yes, that's cheating, but I don't want a lapse in posting!!

Sunday was our first attempted beach outing that failed miserably when it started to downpour.  So instead, Sarah and I finished season 6 of 90210.

Conn-victed

So, for some reason, every bridal party in existence descended on Howl at the Moon tonight and one girl even had t-shirts made: something about flirting with danger and now she's being Conn-victed, which is a clever use of her husband's last name (assuming it is in fact Conn).  Now unfortunately, with bridal parties also comes the barrage of cliche songs:

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: Well, yes, of course they do, and I'm sure standing on the stage at a piano bar belting this out is fun for you, not so fun for me.

I will Survive: Dear, you're getting married, not breaking up, so singing about how you at one point survived a break up and are now getting married is just rubbing it in.

Crazy in Love:  You'd have to be to wear a penis-themed tiara.

Like A Virgin:  This one is my favorite.   You're getting married.  The jig is up.

Howl at the Moon, for those of you who have never been, is a dueling piano bar and one of the few places I will actually pay the cover for.  I have a problem with cover, like why would I pay JUST to walk in the door?  Now, in places such as Chicago, New York or Miami (to name a few), it is expected that some places will charge cover.  I can accept this because they are cool cities with lots to offer, entertaining venues and a guaranteed good time.  Where I cannot accept this is in my hometown.  I'm sorry, you're Concord fucking New Hampshire.  Why are you charging cover so people can go dance in your basement?  Seriously, get your act together. 

In General

Writing every day is not easy (i.e. I don't feel like writing).

I am exhausted after meeting Jim for drinks, Matthew and Elizabeth for dinner and then Katie for a GG marathon that didn't last very long.  All I really want is to go to bed.  But I came home to discover Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead on HBO and well, everyone loves that movie.

So Long Sheena Queen of the Slut People

Today was a very said day as we bid a "see y'all" to Blanche Deveraux as she sailed off to the big lanai in the sky.  As a huge Golden Girls fan, this is indeed a sad day for me.  However, my mourning period will truly start tomorrow night when Katie and I partake in a mini GG marathon as a tribute. 

As a belated celebration for my friend Heather's birthday, a group of us went and saw Sex and the City 2 this evening.  Yes, it's as bad as it looks.  There were approximately three real moments in the two-and-a-half hour fiasco.

Real Moment #1: Carrie is bitching to Stanford about how all Mr. Big wants to do is sit in the apartment and order takeout and watch black and white movies. (Really?  I don't see the problem).  Stanford responds, "Count your blessings, don't you remember when you couldn't even get him to spend the night?"  Seriously, for six seasons all we did was listen to her whine about how Big wouldn't commit.  Now he's committing.  What's the issue?

Real Moment #2: Charlotte and Miranda get drunk and talk about how hard it is to be a mother.  Now, of course I'm not one, but I can imagine how hard it is to be one and how frustrating it can be and them admitting they didn't love it all the time was a very honest moment.

Real Moment #3 (and spoiler): After Carrie kisses Aiden and subsequently tells Big who is subsequently upset she is crying to Charlotte about it and says something along the lines of, "Aiden reminds me of who I used to be, and that was a girl running all over NYC trying to make the love of her life love her back."  Girl, I've been there.  And that was probably the only moment that struck a chord with me.

Okay, fine, and Liza Minnelli singing "Single Ladies" at Stanford and Anthony's wedding (no, I don't get it either) was also pretty awesome.

After the movie, we went down the street for $5 martinis.  I ordered mine dirty, which turned out to basically be straight vodka, so I couldn't really drink it.

I'm glad I saw the movie just because my curiosity got the better of me but I truly hope that this is where it ends.  I mean...enough already.  Nothing has changed.  All the characters are the same and I think the actresses are probably so sick of the people they play that they stopped acting - seriously, the acting was also horrible.

Since we have HBO on Demand in our apartment, I'm currently watching the series finale to remind myself that it wasn't always this bad.

And I will leave you with this final thought: we all know Blanche was the original Samantha Jones.

Straight No Chaser

This evening I volunteered at WTTW (public TV here in Chicago) for a pledge drive.  Yes, I was one of those people you see in the background while the host implores you to donate for a good cause.  Well tonight the in-studio guest was Straight No Chaser, which is the whole reason I chose this particular night.  The "gift with purchase" so to speak was tickets to their Dec 11th concert. 

First of all, the three guys from SNC who came out could not have been nicer.  And also, since I was apparently in a prime location, a couple of times one of them came over to speak to the person making a contribution, mostly to thank them for their support (although Dan Ponce kept asking for the Blackhawks score, which sadly nobody had).  As a result I got to see myself on TV (helloooo double chin) and also, thank goodness I had the foresight to wear black.  Truly hides everything.

The evening actually exceeded my expectations.  I was afraid I was going to get a bunch of crazy callers accusing me of being personally responsible for the BP oil spill but everyone I spoke with was incredibly nice.  I also met two other volunteers who were really nice, one of whom gave me a ride to the brown line - a nice gesture considering we were PAST the end of it in a neighborhood I would venture to guess is not all that safe at night, the other whom spent the majority of the night subtly staring at DR's ass with me because it was RIGHT THERE and all the SNC boys are SO cute and charming.

Anyway, considering I had to go to 5400N/3400W, the neighborhood alone was a new adventure.  But, I enjoyed my experience and would certainly volunteer again.

You Can't Fit Three on a Love Seat

Sarah and I have this ritual of watching DVDs of the original 90210 (yay Netflix!!!) and we're currently watching Season 6, Disc 6 as I write this.  So far this season has included Dylan getting married and his wife being murdered the next day (by her own father who was hoping to kill Dylan), Kelly's coke habit, Susan & Brandon almost dying, Joe's botched football career, Donna's Rose Court appearance, David's mother attempting suicide, etc etc.

Now, Kelly's seemingly sweet roommate from rehab is going all Single White Female on her.  Also, Kelly is dating the med student who was on rotation in her rehab center.  Does that seem wrong to anyone else?  Also, why are they always at the goddamn Peach Pit and why does Nat cater ALL of their events?  Doesn't this dude have a life?  Why do they drink so much coffee?   How do they all fall in love and break up with each other while remaining friends?  Why is Valerie only nice to dudes?  There are so many unanswered questions the series never resolves.


We're getting a barrage of horrible early-90's fashion, painful cliches and life lessons in underage drinking, suicide, drug addiction, abortion, nymphomania, domestic violence, stalking, infidelity, friendship, nightclub ownership, mind games, gun control, how to key a car, blackmail, cheesy pickup lines, art (is for the people), parental relations, mafia hits and Tori Spelling being the most hideous creature alive (minus Claire) yet always having a boyfriend, all tied in a pretty little bow.

I was really upset when the WB came out with a remake of 90210 - completely pathetic and 95% worse than the original.  You can't top Dylan McKay no matter how hard you try.

AND WHY DO THEY ALWAYS WEAR BUSINESS SUITS FOR EVERY DAY LIFE??  THEY
ARE COLLEGE STUDENTS.  I USUALLY WALKED AROUND IN MY PAJAMAS!!! 

And can someone please explain why David is producing music videos for campus bands??  And they want Donna as the female in their music video?  And she looks hideous but everyone tells her how great she is?  And what is with the leather pants?

Kelly is finally kicking SWF out of her apartment and she's begging to stay.  Quote of the night from Sarah: "Get a fucking grip."

Correction. Quote of the night: (Sarah on Tori Spelling): "Does she have a Y chromosome?" 

We didn't start at season one; we started at season five.  But we're going to cry when we get to the end.  Although, at this rate it will be in 2020.

Life lessons from 90210: just don't be a stalker.