Reality TV at it's "finest"

I have a profound hatred for MOST reality TV shows.  I say most because I inexplicably will watch Keeping up With the Kardashians (side note: I recently read in US Weekly that the mom, Kris Jenner, used to be friends with Nicole Simpson, but then her ex-husband defended OJ Simpson.  Seem weird to anyone else?) but other than that, really cannot STAND those shows.


For example, the Bachelor/Bachelorette has been tanking for the longest time, Jersey Shore is like the Hills but MTV went into a gutter to cast it, and don't even get me started on the Real Housewives of Anywhere.  It just takes fame whores of the worst kind (selfish, awful people) and makes them rich for literally doing nothing (I mean, Snooki can get $10K+ for an appearance fee.  We're giving a five figure salary to someone who thought the Bump-It was a GOOD idea?) except exploiting their privacy and the privacy of others - I mean, even I will admit the Kardashians are famous for no reason and I'm not sure how I got on that bandwagon.  But I digress.


So now, Dancing With the Stars, 11th edition, has cast the most wretched bottom dwellers they could have possibly come up with.  Let's examine, shall we?


Bristol Palin - Famous for no other reason that getting knocked up while her mom was running for VP.  No pregnancy = no dancing with anyone.


The Situation - Rescued from a life of certain mediocrity when MTV put him on the worst show in the history of ever.


David Hasselhoff - Drunk.  All the time.


Florence Henderson - I mean, I guess at least she was on an actual TV show (okay, DH was too, but he's such a jerk now I won't acknowledge).


Kyle Massey - Apparently used to be on That's So Raven...need I say more?


Kurt Warner - Okay fine.


Margaret Cho - Haven't heard of her relevance since 2002.  Since DWTS calls on desperation, she's perfect.


Audrina Partridge - Will probably spend most of her time dodging advances from the Siutation.


Rick Fox - Not doing much else.


Brandy - Loved her in 1996 when she peaked.


Jennifer Grey - Hasn't been busy since 1988 - should win because if she doesn't there will be too many insufferable "nobody puts Baby in a corner" jokes otherwise.


Michael Bolton - No Talent Ass Clown


So we basically have a bunch of drunks in a professional dance-off.  I might just wind up watching this train wreck of a season.

A Whirlwind

August has just flown right by.  I blinked and it was over.  My new niece Kate was born the 5th (yay!) but I have to wait until Thanksgiving to meet her (booo).  Then I had surgery to fix my deviated septum (no, that is not a nose job, but thanks for asking) so spent a good four days high on Vicodin (yay!) but missed Sarah's birthday (booo). 

This weekend is Megan + Mike's wedding, then Labor Day, and THEN, in a mere 15 days, I am off to Columbus to go to the Miami vs OSU game in the Horseshoe where I can only hope Miami enacts the revenge we've been waiting seven years for.  Sure, a national title isn't on the line OUTRIGHT, but if OSU loses this game, it will severely hurt their chances to get to the title game.  Most analysts are predicting they will make a run to the title game but you really can't get there anymore unless you're 12-0, so if we beat them, it surely will damper their plans for a title (also, the past two title games they've played in they've been blown out anyway, so even if they get there, they will likely lose).

Given how much money I spent on the ticket, hotel, plane ticket, etc, I can only hope I am rewarded with a Miami win, but regardless, it will be a fun weekend to watch some great football - and I am SURE I will come back with some fabulous stories to actually make this blog interesting!!

A sobering cartoon

I came across this little cartoon on Mint.com, which I found rather sobering. I mean, everyone knows if you only pay the monthly minimum on your credit card the balance will go nowhere - but to see it depicted in such a riveting piece of art really made it all the more scary. I've actually stop using plastic altogether - knowing that if I didn't, I'd never pay my cards off. It definitely makes things difficult (booking flights, for example) but makes me a lot more disciplined - if I don't have the cash, I won't do it. Saying no may mean missing out on some fun times, but I don't want to be 45 and living in my mom's basement in NH because I couldn't reign in my spending. In the long run, a few years of suffering will surely be worth it.


Personal Finance Sofware Mint.com

Vegas - Exploring the Obsession

Those that know me (well, not well, peripherally, you've met me once and I friended you on Facebook) know that I am completely obsessed with Las Vegas.  If not for the fact that I have limited funds and vacation days, I would go there as often as possible.  I joked more than once that I should just move there (which I won't because I wouldn't last a month but I digress).

So, why Vegas?  What's so great about it?  Let's explore, shall we?

First of all, I can't say I love it because I've consistently won a substantial amount of money when I'm there - it isn't like I'm a high roller who can be up thousands of dollars at a time.  Usually you'll find me camped out at the penny slots drinking either a Bud Light or watered down vodka cran.  My most recent trip I did win $342 by putting a five in a quarter slot and winning on my second hit but that rarely (or never) happens.  Most of the time I lose $40 or $50.  So it's not the money factor.

Although I do love gambling.  I'm not sure why.  It's something about the lights, noise, and unlimited supply of drinks.  I could be happy staying in the casino 24/7.  I don't need the shows or dining (though both are fabulous I haven't eaten at any high end restaurants and the only shows I have seen involved male strippers so pretty much I'm saying I don't go there to eat at Emeril's and watch Celine Dion belt out my Heart Will Go On for $200 a pop).

Three of the four times I've gone, the weather has been nice enough to get in some serious pool time - so that's one reason: the plethora of pools and the great weather (the second time I went barely counts anyway because it was for one night with my mom when I was moving here from San Diego).

The company is another reason.  The third and fourth times I went were an absolute blast - just was with the best group of people and that really contributes.  The combo of company, weather and Bright Lights City never disappointing all contribute to my freak-like obsession.

So, who wants to go, and when?

You Get What You Pay For

Ahhh online dating.  I'm still trying to figure out when the explosion happened - somewhere between AOL chat rooms circa 1996 and Twitter circa now, the internet became everyone's one-stop shop to find a mate.   Maybe you alienated all your guy friends and their friends with your insecurities or refusal to settle or maybe you live in a town where everyone knows everyone else - whatever the reason, online dating sites can be your best friend or worst enemy. 

I saw a friend's Facebook post earlier saying she was reconsidering Match.com and I tried to intervene as quickly as possible - which got me to thinking - of all the sites out there, what are our best options as single folk?  So I've decided to grade them all (and by ALL of course I just mean the ones I've tried).

Craigslist - (F) - Yes, I tried meeting people off CL - no it wasn't in the casual encounters section either.  I gave it a gander when I was unemployed and couldn't justify spending money for Match or E-Harmony.  So, I took a chance.  I went on one date with a guy who was a bit older than me and had a child from a previous relationship.  We hit it off well enough but as we were saying goodbye he realized he left he debit card at the bar (at least he PAID) and ran off to get it, leaving me baffled on Clark St.  He did text to apologize and we set up another date, however a week or so later he changed his relationship status on Facebook to "In a Relationship With (Skanky McHoebag).   They are now engaged.  

My one other date came a while later - I made the mistake of suggesting we meet at Sedgwick's, a Villanova bar, during a Villanova game, and while I barely paid attention to a word he said, he rehashed his recent trip to Costa Rica where he mentioned (several times) hot tub activities I'd rather not repeat.  Fail.  Massive Fail.

Plenty of Fish - (F) - I tried POF when I lived in San Diego.  As I was working all the time, I was only hanging out with guys from work and there was enough drama in that place to rival Days of Our Lives so I decided to look outside of the company for a date.  My friend's roommate recommend POF, so off I went, into the jaws of the unknown (it was my first time using a free site, so I feared the worst).  I met and talked to this guy who seemed normal at FIRST, but then I started to have my doubts.  This was back in the day when AOL IM was like THE THING, and we would chat at night sometimes when I got home from work - he had an amazing talent for making jokes completely irrelevant to the conversation we were having so I would never know how to respond.  

Example:


Me: I have to work at Baby Gap on Saturday
Him: LOL I LOVE Nascar bibs LMAO


Um...what?

Eventually I relented to meeting him and forced my good friend Katie and her boyfriend Brian to double-date with us.  It turned out his IRL appearance was so far off what he posted online that it took me a good five minutes to figure out if it was actually him or not.  Also, he was wearing brown pants with black shoes.  No wait.  Maybe it was the other way around.  Anyway, he was so creepy I could not get rid of him fast enough but he continued to email me for almost two years. Yikes.

Match.com - (C) -  I think out of all the sites out there, I have tried (and failed) the most with Match.com.  There was the guy who never gave me his number so when I got lost and showed up to our date 20 minutes late I already had a huge deficit - by far the cutest, most normal guy I'd ever met online and he wanted nothing to do with me post-date.  Then there was the dude who was so sweet but we had no spark, but I keep seeing him because I figured why not, the one who I am pretty sure was gay, the one who was too immature, Hollywood Kisser, Lawyer Man who I would have loved to see again but wanted nothing to do with me (common theme I suppose). I mean, it never ends.  And the most recent time I tried it, no one showed interest in me at all.  Which brings me to...

OKCupid - (D) -  I either go on dates where I'm forced to split a $29 check or I receive messages such as this gem (spelling and grammatical errors are their own): 

Subject Line: Free Pie

Alright seriously...there is no pie but I thought this would help you open and this maybe chat with me later. Who knows we could get real pie in the future, or if you don't like pie maybe ice cream. Either way you're now thinking about sweets and will remember this message and either message me back from the sheer awesomeness of this note, or you you will blame me for massive weight gain from eating awesome sweets because this note was awesome. so I might be awesome and you're proabably awesome especially if you message me back I hope to hear from you soon 

Or this:

I just wanted to take this time and say hi and I would like the chance to get to know you better, if you're cool with doing so?

Take good care and I hope to hear back from you when the time allows for you to respond back to my inquiry. All my best to you.

Or my ABSOLUTE favorite (from a guy who had previously emailed but I had not responded to because he was 40+ and lives in Michigan:)

Just give it a chance. You've got nothing to lose. It's not like we are going to get married right away. Maybe you might appreciate a mature guy for a change. I certian know how to treat a lady and you my friend, are a lady in a half. Beautiful..... Listen to me.... You are beautiful.... 

E-Harmony - (D) - In E-Harmony's defense, I joined when I really wasn't as serious about dating as you should be when you join E-Harmony.  After going through the 768 steps of communication, I found myself at brunch with someone much older and shorter than his profile and picture indicated.  Five minutes after the date was over he texted me to ask if I felt any chemistry.  Then the next day if I wanted to continue dating and what I thought about "us" - okay that's just a little fast for me.

I'm sure all of these sites have worked better for people who aren't so inept but if anyone wanted my two cents - there it is.

Attack of the D-List

Yesterday was Chicago's Rock & Roll Half Marathon and I spectated for a bit so that I could see Katie finish.  

I started at mile six where a friend of mine was volunteering at a water station, then met up with Megan & Mike so we could go to the finish line to make sure we'd see Katie.

Well, they should have renamed the marathon DList Central as there were reality TV stars running it, which the Emcee's could not stop talking about.  First, we had Guiliana Rancic cross the finish line, then a Real Housewife (though I don't watch any of them so I couldn't tell you which one), then Jake the most recent Bachelor, followed by Jason & Molly Mesnick.

Jake is actually the second cousin of my friend Michelle, which I informed him of when I ran up to him while he was sitting at the back of a golf cart at a red light (who knows where they were taking him).  I just couldn't resist.  First I asked for a pic thinking either Megan or Katie was behind me w/a camera - but they weren't - so some random lady tried to take one with her camera but her battery was dead.  At this point I gave up, shook his hand and told him I knew his cousin Michelle.  I was met with a blank stare and a "WHO?" so then I told him her last name and the lightbulb went off just as the light turned green so our entire interaction was kind of odd.  But whatever.  

I can add him to the list of famous people I've met.

That list includes:

-Ian Ziering
-Andy Roddick
-Jerry Springer
-Rue McClanahan 
-wow this list is not impressive
-though I did see Chris Noth and he was only about 10ft from me, he was filming Law & Order
-but he did look right at us
-and we had to play it cool
-Debra Messing came into the Baby Gap I worked at in San Diego...but not while I was working
-this is pathetic so I'm stopping now.