Jezebel's Worst Pickup Line Contest - Rated R

Jezebel, one of my favorite sites, is having a Worst Pickup Line contest.  The prize for those who don't live in NYC is some sort of DVD I'm not really interested in.  But I did want to enter because I have such a great story and why not share it with others?  So, below is what I submitted - enjoy, my lovelies!

My best story occurred the summer after I graduated from college. I was working at a video store to kill time until I got an actual job. The store had a "back room" if you catch my drift, and one day when my (male) manager and I were working alone, a male customer came in (during the day, if it matters) and ventured into said back room.

Now, being 22 and still fairly innocent, I was always rather nervous ringing up transactions for adult videos, so when he came to the counter with a DVD entitled "No Cum Dodging Allowed" this was certainly no exception. My previous method to combat said nervous feeling was to make small talk ("great weather today, how was your 4th of July, did you see the new Will Smith movie?") because USUALLY when renting from the back room, other customers would throw other mainstream movies into the mix.

But not my friend this day. We'll call him Will. Will was only renting this one DVD. And of course while making normal small talk w/him, I made a mistake on the transaction and had to call my manager over to come fix it.

After he fixes the error and I resume the transaction and Will says to me, "Just so you know, the next time you make a mistake like that you're going to get spanked." I thought he was a) kidding and b) talking about my manager because he was the one who had to fix the error. So I responded by pointing to my manager and saying, "who him? Naah, he's harmless." Will then says, "no, I was talking about me."

It was at this point that I became so mortified that I had no idea how to respond and merely (half) laughed and just said "oh."

Will then asked for my number. I was so embarrassed and wanted to get him out of the store as quickly as possible, so like a dumbass I GAVE it to him. So color me surprised when three days later he actually called me. Come to think of it, his name actually WAS Will. Anyway. I didn't call him back and thought that would be the end of it.

But it wasn't.

That Sunday, when I was working alone, he COMES INTO THE STORE, sneaks up behind me and was all, "hey there, you never called me back."

I literally had nowhere to run so just said, "yeah, sorry, you really embarrassed me so I can't go out with you."

He said he understood, ventured into the back room, rented another porn, and left.

So, there you have it friends.  I can't make this stuff up!