The Date

A while back, maybe in March or April, I joined an online dating site, one of the free ones, figuring that if I was going to get rejected, at least I wouldn't be paying to get rejected.  And actually I was active for about a week before realizing I didn't care enough to put in that much effort.  Well, a week or so ago, I got an email from a guy who seemed perfectly normal, so after trading emails for a bit, he asked me out to dinner and I accepted.  

He was not someone I would have approached - his profile said he was a lot shorter than I normally go for and he doesn't drink but it's not like I'm turning down dates on a regular basis and have a reason to be that snobby so I figured, what the hell, it's only dinner.

He sent me links to a few restaurants he'd scoped out on Yelp (yay diligence) and had me pick one.  I picked an Italian place by my apartment that I hadn't tried yet and was actually looking forward to the date...until he emailed me the day before:

Hey Reva, just wanted to check in to see how you're doing.  I took a look at the menu for Tarantino's, and it is a little on the pricey side. 

This isn't a problem for me, but I just wanted to make sure you're comfortable with those prices.  Just say the word if you'd like to change up the locale. :)

Now, I don't about you, but that email to me said he wanted me to know we were going Dutch, which I don't have a problem with - if I offer and you take me up on then fine - I'm okay with that.  It's the whole email ahead of time thing I have issues with.  I mean...really?  Maybe he didn't want me to be shocked when he expected me to pay for my half but...

It's hard to go into a date with an open mind after that kind of email - and I figured I was screwed either way.  If I say the prices are okay with me and he was planning on paying then I look like a bitch, if I say no then I look like a bitch too (right?  I'm not even sure.  This is why I hate dating!!!).  So I picked a cheaper restaurant to err on the side of caution, and we split a $29 check.  He asked me if I wanted to walk around after but I said no and bolted home.  Why prolong the inevitable?  And if you're wondering, no I haven't heard from him.

The general consensus has been that the person who does the asking should pay for the date.  I am not sure I've asked a guy on a date who has actually said yes, but if that ever happened I'd be happy to pay.  And I'm not trying to sound superficial either - I am not faulting someone if he doesn't want to buy me dinner at Charlie Trotter's - but I sensed a lack of chivalry there which I think every girl wants, at least for the first few dates.

Also he's 30 and lives with his parents (I think by choice).  So there's that.